Tuesday, August 27, 2013

2013 VMA Review

The VMAs did NOT disappoint this year!

Ok. The ceremony started with a really up-close shot of a wide-eyed, crazed-looking Gaga-her face in the middle of a white block. 

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I love that that's the first image we saw!! LOL She started in on some opera-esque sound..She lost the white block framing her face, stripped down and segued int Applause. Her dancers outfitted her with 2 different wigs and sequined outfits for the first part of the song, She is such a drag queen! Love it. Then she disappeared and re-emerged wearing a sea shell bra and thong. Damnnnn her body is looking good!!! People kept talking about it throughout the ceremony..just tight and toned..with an ass! Anyways, it wasn't as cray cray as I thought it would be but I did enjoy it.

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I didn't realize there was no host this year, which I did not miss at all. Shit just got started right away and the first award they handed out was for Best Female Video: Come and Get It, Selena Gomez! I didn't see that coming at all (despite the fact that it was a beautiful video)! She would have been my choice for who I wanted to win, but I saw it going to Taylor or Miley. Thank God it didn't!

Speaking of.. Miley was the first to perform of the night and it's emerged as the most talked-about performance of the night-for all the wrong reasons!! Omg. I can't. 

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Watch if you dare.

We ALL knew Miley wasn't going to serve up any sort of class or substance.. and we all expected  it to be some ratchet ass shit.! And I don't like using that word but I think that is just the best way to describe what went down! Also: Tasteless, talentless, image nightmare, offensive, disgusting, horrifying, embarrassing, etc.

Sticking her tongue out, making those stupid faces, thrusting, shaking her ass.. Then Robin Thicke came out and it was more of the same, except she stripped down to reveal and nude-looking silicone bra and panty (?) set and shit was not flattering. The look of endless Memes. !

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On my prediction blog I touched on cultural appropriation via Miley's adoption of her idea of  "Black culture" and this went even further than her video.. Just as I said her video featured black women as props, she featured them as such again in her performance of the song-They were literally the teddy bears. And she used the giant black woman from Beechers' Madhouse (I'm an LA nightlife local, cough cough) to motorboat? mime rimming? and spank as she passed by. Reducing black women's bodies to sexualized props to be seen or touched for your entertainment. The audience reactions said it all. Horrifying. Horrifying at the shallowest surface level and even more-so when you look at the deeper subtext of what she's demonstrating.

How does she recover from that?? We shall see, but I think it's safe to say there is pretty much no one on her side who can say that was in any way a good performance. Probably more universally panned than Brit Brit's zombie walk through Gimme More in 2007! Oye.

Lil Kim and Iggy Azalea come out to present the award for Best Hip Hop Video, which went to Macklemore for Can't Hold Us, which was the only good nominee. He was looking good!

Kanye performance!! It was reported everywhere that he was going to do Black Skinhead but he came out doing Blood on the Leaves. It started out with a darkly lit close-up of his face and then cut away to just his shadowy figure spazzing/dancing in front of a background scene. It was simple but I really loved it. I'm obsessed with the way he moves.

Best Female Video: I knew You Were Trouble, Taylor Swift. Of course she gets up there and gives a bratty little finger-wag, thanking the person who inspired the song "And he know EXACTLY who he is".  Perpetual Martyr. Stop whining about every guy who's done you wrong and move on. I wish Kanye would have come up there again!!

Best Video with a Social Message: Same Love, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Of course. They come up and give a great acceptance speech about how they really wanted to win for Best Hip Hop but this was so far and away the most important award for them.. the evolving landscape of gay rights/acceptance. Gay Rights are Human Rights..It was a poignant moment.

Ok....What happened next was the most unexpectedly magical, spectacular moment (15 minute moment) of the night and, dare I say, in VMA history! I knew Justin Timberlake was scheduled to perform but that didn't spark any excitement or expectations from me At All. It almost didn't even register.. like, Oh.. JT's performing..? That might be Ok I guess.. OH MY GOD. His performance was so out of left-field spectacular it blew my mind. It started with him performing Take Back the Night in some lobby, probably of the Barclays Center, then he appeared on stage and slowly started in with.... SEXYBACK!! You don't even know ! I wasn't (before this night) even that big of a JT fan but I still die for SexyBack. And!! I remember, when he performed at the VMAs in 2007, after a whole summer of SexyBack tearing it up, he DIDN'T PERFORM SEXYBACK. It left so much to be desired, for me, personally, and this redeemed everything, and them some. He said "I still run this bitch!" and he's so right.. After a 7 year hiatus from releasing new music and a lame ass return single, he still runs this shit and can do a better performance than ANYONE.
And I am not even a third of the way done. After SexyBack, he continued to do: Like I Love You (Omgg flashbacks to 2002 when he emerged for his solo debut on the VMA stage with that light-up boombox), My Love, Cry me a River, What Goes Around, Senorita..Rock Your Body..!!!!!!!!!!! And these aren't 20 second snippets-he goes a good way into the whole song. And chereography!!!! Out the Ass!!! Ev.er.y. single move is sharp, crisp, exact, on-point!!! Singing live, sounding amazing, nostalgia swells and there is much glory!!!!!

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Not done.

He disappears for a sec and then you see spotlights on 5 figures.. Oh My God it's NSYNC!!!!! The guitars for Girlfriend come on and people go crazy! But they have already been on their feet going crazy for like 10 minutes. They do Girlfriend and then Bye Bye Bye. They are so happy JT FINALLY threw them a bone and let them dance and sing with him for all of 90 seconds. That was the biggest moment of Lance, Chris, JC and Joey's LIVES of last 10 years. And we won't see them again for another 10 ! Hope they enjoyed it!!

JT KEEPS ON GOING. He does Suit and Tie.. and finished with Mirrors. I am out of breath even typing what all went down. He MURDERED IT!! This performance was not even on my fucking radar and he killed it so hard!! It wasn't even an awards-show performance that climaxes quickly after like 3 minutes with some theatrics.. This was a mini-concert, a fucking marathon!! And it was ALL JT. Yeah he had backup dancers but your eyes were on him the whole time. No costume changes, no gimmicky background images, smoke, flying through the air.. it was just him dancing, singing, performing like I have never seen anyone do! Reminding us why he runs this bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!! JT just had the BEST VMA MOMENT OF ALL TIME!!!!!

My boo Jamal brought up the fact that you know JT had to FIGHT to convince MTV to give him a 15 minute performance. That is like an 8th of the whole ceremony!! They don't give NOBODY 15 minutes!! That's pretty fucking amazing.

Then buddy Jimmy Fallon presented Justin with the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard award. This was just on another level. When Britney was presented with the Video Vanguard award 2 years ago that lazy trick didn't even perform!!!!! She has some troop of 12 year olds dance to a mashup of her songs!! She just waddled onstage with some "Thanks to the fans and my babies" BS and walked off.!! Wowwww. Your ex-boo just put you to shame girl.

Jason Collins (recently out NBA player) and A$AP Rocky introduce Macklemore & Ryan Lewis and Mary Lambert to perform Same Love. It was good. I love Macklemore and his spastic, uncoordinated movements, even for this song. I love it.. J.Hud came out towards the end and sang with them. Jamal said he kind of didn't like that she appeared in the performance because it was such a surprise that it stole the spotlight from Mary Lambert. I didn't even think of that, but it's true. Here they are performing an important socially-aware song, most people's first time ever even seeing who the woman behind that beautiful voice is.. It should have been a moment for us to appreciate the song and the unique artists behind it and a totally unrelated powerhouse singer swoops in and steals a bit of the focus. It's true though. Nothing against J.Hud but.. maybe she should have just let them make the moment.

Drake performance: He started out with Hold on We"re Going Home and then shifts into Started from the Bottom. It was good but this was a ceremony of AMAZING performances so it got lost in the shuffle.

Best Male Video: Locked out of Heaven, Bruno Mars!!! Yay!! Love that video.

Bruno performs his newest single, Gorilla. I'm not about sex-songs but this performance was really good. I love his expressions and movements. His face is so soulful when he sings!! What a freakin cutie!!! Will Smith approved. (They were cutting to his ass all show long!! Every fucking performance or acceptance they would cut to Will Smith and the kids to show their reaction! I just thought that was so random. and hilarious.)

VIDEO OF THE YEAR! Goes to.... Mirrors. Ok I'm not a fan of the video but I ain't sayin shit after all JT just blessed us with.

The ceremony closes with some cliche, overdone boxing-themed performance by Katy Perry. The scene was cool- It was a ring set up outside with the Brooklyn Bridge as the backdrop. Like the real Brooklyn Bridge. It was a great setting wasted on a boring performance. It was just baisc. Reductive, to use a Madonna-word. The only person who can make a boxing-theme cool and not contrived is Xtina!!!

Let me catch my breath!!!

SO. I've been glorifying 2009's VMAs as the best I can remember watching but this one might take the cake. It just proves my thoughts that the VMAs are infinitely better in New York. It's on so much more of a grand scale in NYC.. LA just can't compare. And that seems to set the tone for the whole show too-the red carpet, performances, and EVERYTHING are just better in New York. As much as I'd love to attend the VMAs in LA, I'd rather preserve the credibility and grandiouse nature of the ceremony and keep it in NYC!!

Ending notes/themes- Miley is a mess. Justin is an entertainment God. Taylor's a martyr. Gaga is bangin. And we should always watch for Will Smith's approval.

Aand Robin Thicke walked away with NO awards for that distasteful, ignorant video, despite being nominated in three major categories. And his association with Miley via their performance together was surely embarrassing and a little damning. SORRY ROBIN.

Despite that embarrassing spectacle, I am thoroughly pleased-even delighted- with the 2013 VMAs. Like I said on Facebook- JT brought it to the highest possible level.. and Miley brought it to an ultra embarrassing low!! But the VMAs are nothing without drama, so the Miley-low was actually an integral part of the show. At least it got people talking, thinking, evaluating, and hopefully looking at pop culture on a deeper level. I wrote my final university senior paper on Kanye's Twitter rant/apology about his VMA incident, and Miley's performance could for SURE be dissected and analyzed deeply enough to serve as a dissertation. Engage the culture (Sorry, SPU)! That is what the VMAs are all about.! So sad they're over for another year..but already looking forward to 2014!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

2013 VMA Nominees, Predictions and Commentary

I'm back!!! It's been a year since I posted; It was for the 2012 VMA predictions post..! And here I am again to give my two cents.. I haven't been posting much lately as I have been experiencing different stages of an identity crisis for the past 8 and a half months since Kim got pregnant and had that baby. I can't really say I'm her anymore because of that...pretty much everything else lined up with her before but now there's this huge disparity between my values and desires for my life and what she has done in hers! I don't want kids!  I won't get into all of that but that is what I've been going through.

On a brighter note I AM so excited for the VMA's this year! Just like last year, I was NOT excited about the nominees and wasn't going to make a blog but I watched all the videos and mustered up some insights. My excitement this year comes not from the nominees but from the scheduled performances!! GAGA is returning to the VMA stage (she's the opener!) to perform her new single Applause from her new album, ArtPop. Gaga always shuts it down!! My favorite performance from a VMA ceremony EVER was when she did Paparazzi back in 2009, AKA the best VMA ceremony that I can remember (Kanye mic-stealing, Beyonce's Single Ladies performance..the best!!). Then she performed as Jo Calderone, doing a monologue and singing You and I to open the VMAs in 2011. So obviously I am beyond excited for that.

Kanye is going to perform Black Skinhead, which I'm actually pretty surprised they are going to let him do. Between his and Gaga's performances, it sounds like there's going to be a lot of theatrics and drama. Other confirmed performers include: Bruno Mars (I LOVE his performances, esp. at the VMAs), Justin Timberlake (with rumored N*Sync reunion?), Miley Cyrus (please spare us the twerking), Katy Perry, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, and Robin Thicke. It's going to be gooood!

JT and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis lead the pack with 6 noms each, followed by Bruno Mars and Robin Thicke. It looks like the pendulum has swung back the other way to be very male dominated this year! Last year was in the middle I guess (uneventful and not very notable) and before that it was heavily female dominated. When Justin is around he brings it, because the last time it was male dominated (in my mind) was back in 2007 when it was JT, Kanye, 50, Timbaland, etc.

Anyways, let's talk!!

Video of the Year

Macklemore &Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz, "Thrift Shop"
Bruno Mars, "Locked Out of Heaven"
Robin Thicke feat. T.I. and Pharrell, "Blurred Lines"
Taylor Swift, "I Knew You Were Trouble"

Thrift Shop is just such a fun music video! I'm going to have a Seattle bias anytime I'm talking about one of his videos since he always seems to feature the city in some way.. But the track and the video are just so creative and different. it seems pretty low budget and I'm impressed by how much they were able to do with it! This was our (or at least most people's) first time ever seeing Macklemore and I think it was great; we got to see how much swag he's got!!

I love the Locked Out of Heaven video too because it's also so different! Love the retro effects and Michael Jackson-y feel.. and Bruno is just too perfect in this video!!

Blurred Lines.... where do I even start. I loved the song but was so disappointed when I saw the video. I just have a lot of problems with the subtext of the video. Was it really necessary to use three naked women dancing and bouncing around you, TI and Pharrell-fully-clothed, dressed like gentlemen? Showing that you have acheived success because you have multiple naked women at your beck and call to just prance around like little girls, bouncing their tits without a care in the world, having fun? At the end of the day, when one person is naked and another is fully clothed, it's a power difference and it shows who's in control and who's vulnerable.  The line sung "You're an animal" followed by one of the guys brushing and stroking a naked girl's hair like she's literally a creature from the animal kingdom. Super passive, the girls are just nodding along to whatever the guys say or do, meowing like a cat, having toy cars roll over their bodies, having smoke blown in their face and coughing.. I really do find it disgusting, what they're conveying in this video. Which is sooo disappointing because there are a lot of things I like about the video!  All three guys look so good in their suits! I love their weird looks into the camera, the dancing, moseying around.. if it was just them, or perhaps with some fully-clothed women I'd like the video a lot more.

I knew you were trouble..girl please. Thank you at least for giving me a good laugh by giving us a glimpse at your acting skills trying to look strung out and confused for the first minute and a half of the video.! Overall, she just ripped off Rihanna's We Found Love video! Starting it with a retrospect, wiser self-narration, looking miserable from what she just went through, then showing the back and forth flashes between the good times and the really bad, complete with obvious drug metaphors, strung out scenes in a motel with her boyfriend, tattooing, intense scenes in the cars.. I hope you got Rihanna's permission to steal her whole video concept !

Who SHOULD win: Thrift Shop! He did the most with a small budget and it was his grand entrance !! he didn't have to rely on stealing anyone's video concept or resorting to some cliche, cheap sexism. My second choice would be Bruno though!

Who WILL win: Ughh.. I'm fearing Blurred Lines.

Best Hip Hop Video

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Ray Dalton, "Can't Hold Us"
Drake, "Started From The Bottom"
Kendrick Lamar, "Swimming Pools"
A$AP Rocky feat. Drake, 2 Chainz and Kendrick Lamar, "F--kin' Problems"
J. Cole feat. Miguel, "Power Trip"

Can't Hold Us- How many countries and continents did they even film this video in?? If Thrift Shop made it work with a smaller budget, this made it work with obviously bigger funds! This video is pretty epic, I must say. And it ended on the Space Needle! Before I even knew it was going to feature Seattle, I first saw the view from the top of the needle and immediately recognized it. Love it!

Started from the Bottom- What a terrible video! From last year, thinking Drake had one of the best videos of the year with Take Care, to this mess! This video is all over the place with no focus. He doesn't even look good in it. And all the drug store scenes were wack. Terrible video.

I love Swimming Pools as a song but the video didn't do enough for me. It was trying to be a artsy but it just came across boring and slow.

Problems..you would think a video with that many guys on it would be kind of epic but it looked low budge and LAME to me.

Power Trip was whatever for me too. Damn last year's nominees were wayyy better!! These are all a let-down.

Who should win: Can't Hold Us. The only nominee that put in effort! They gave viewers a magical trip around the world!! 

Who will win: Can't Hold Us

Best Male Video

Justin Timberlake, "Mirrors"
Robin Thicke feat. T.I. and Pharrell, "Blurred Lines"
Bruno Mars, "Locked Out of Heaven">
Ed Sheeran, "Lego House"
Kendrick Lamar, "Swimming Pools"

Mirrors was a mess too, but this could evade you if you were distracted by the smoke and mirrors (no pun intended). I was so not amused by the slow-moving older couple and their flashbacks. It didn't have a full story, right? Like you didn't know what their story really was? It was just an old couple and flashing back to when they were young. And I think it was poorly done. The period they flashed back to didn't seem believable or look accurate. It didn't look like it was a flashback; It just looked like a retro-styled modern shoot. Not convincing. But thanks for all the artsy mirror metaphors on every wall, JT. The only good part was at the very end when the song slowed down and it actually showed Justin dancing in between all the mirrors. The only good part. Mirrors is a bad video disguised as a good video.

I already shared my thoughts on Blurred Lines, Locked Out of Heaven and Swimming Pools.

I don't care much for Lego House. Why did that video even make the list?

Who should win: Bruno

Who will win: Mirrors. You low-brow people will be fooled by anything shiny (Pun not intended!!).

Best Female Video

Rihanna feat. Mikky Ekko, "Stay"
Taylor Swift, "I Knew You Were Trouble"
Miley Cyrus, "We Can't Stop"
Pink feat. Nate Ruess, "Just Give Me A Reason"
Demi Lovato, "Heart Attack"

Everyone seemed to love Rihanna's video for Stay but I don't get it. It's just her in a bathtub with less makeup than usual, looking sad. THAT'S it. I kept waiting for it to flash to another scene or show something else to add to the story... nothing.

I was a mild Miley supporter back in the Party in the USA days but she's turned into something terrible. I hate it. The song is wack to me and the video is just gross. Why is she trying to act like some hood chick? Twerking anytime there's a camera on her, including this video, surrounded by all black women as her props (to give her cred or make her seem more legit), wearing a grill and all those stupid faces she makes..She's trying to convey that she doesn't give a fuck, she's tough, she's edgy..by adopting the styles, trends, dance moves of black people. She's a privileged white girl  " 'playing' at being a minority specifically from a lower socio-economic level.
"  I could get into some more cultural appropriation analysis here but I'll spare you.

Just Give Me a Reason..just give me a break.

Heart Attack.. I actually like the track a lot but this video looks too much like a Kelly Clarkson video. The shots where she's wearing less makeup with the black hands is just weird.. she looks like an alien and the shots where she's all done up she just looks like Kelly Clarkson!!
 I do like Demi, but this video is a mess.

Who should win: None !

Who will win: Disappointment.   (Taylor or Miley)

Best Pop Video

Bruno Mars, "Locked Out of Heaven"
Justin Timberlake, "Mirrors"
Fun., "Carry On"
Miley Cyrus, "We Can't Stop"
Selena Gomez, "Come and Get It"

I've reviewed all of these except Carry On (which I will not even review because the sight of that lead singer makes me want to vomit, he is grotesque!!) and Come and Get It.. which I surprisingly liked!! I've never seen Selena as pretty; I've always thought she looks like a little rat or other rodent, but this video helped me to see her as beautiful for the first time! She is GORG in this !! The whole video is gorg-the scenery, beautiful wardrobe, the close-ups of her mouth, the slow-motion of her beautiful dresses blowing in the wind and moving with her..omg. This video officially won me over.

DISCLAIMER: YES I know I was on Miley about cultural appropriation and this video has elements of that too..with the Indian stuff, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. I don't even think she was wearing a bindi. So just out of fairness I do have to acknowledge that as an impartial judge and deduct a few points... but still!! The video is exquisite!

Who should win: Locked out of Heaven or Come and Get It

Who will win: Mirrors, ugh.

Artist To Watch, Presented by Taco Bell

Twenty One Pilots, "Holding On To You"
Zedd feat. Foxes, "Clarity"
Austin Mahone, "What About Love"
The Weeknd, "Wicked Games"
Iggy Azalea, "Work"

Is this a new category? I'm confused.. because the VMAs aren't about the artists themselves or even just the song..it's about the Music Video. So.. the fact that this category is Artist to Watch makes me think they are confused and just talking about the artist? Or maybe the artist to watch in this case is represented solely by this one selected video?  That's how I'll be evaluating, anyway.

Holding On To You- You know I get irritated when people get nominated that I have never heard of.. but this one was surprisingly good. I like the song and the video. It wasn't so good that I'm about to look into their other songs, but I did appreciate the video.

Clarity has been all over the radio this year and I do like the song a lot actually, though I've never been compelled to check out the video.. I'm so glad I did for this review! It was so good! It conveyed the feeling of the song so well.. I was mesmerized watching and totally felt the feeling of helplessness, powerlessness of this force you have no control over. The images of light bulbs or other objects colliding and breaking, the image of the guy being thrown though the air.. powerless against the forces of gravity or inertia or LOVE or anything else. Props!

What About Love.. this video and especially song belong in 1999! This song has N*Sync written all over it! I can't review this.

Wicked Games.. if this was general Artist to watch, then I'd say the Weeknd definitely has the most momentum going to be considered the most worthy of "watching", but this video didn't do anything for me, sorry.

Iggy Izalea Work!! Now Git this Work!!!! Her twang is a bit much for me but this video is the shit. My best friend Rachel/Bambi showed me this video when it first came out and I was like Okayyyyy! Some of Iggy's video's/songs in the past have been too much for me and reek of cultural approriation (see: Pu$$y, Bounce) but this one strikes the right balance between fab glam and honest and real. It's her story!!

Yes she has black women twerking around her.. but she wasn't born into wealth living a life of privilege from the start like Miley, who has no real connection to that life.  I feel like she has the background to be about to feature that if she wants to and it's not out of place.. Go watch it right now, click past the slow part in the beginning where you hear her speak, ow that hurts my ears.. Start at 00:27; the rest is good!!

Who should win: Clarity or Work!!

Who will win: The Weeknd? I dont know!

And that's all the relevant categories I feel are worthy of review! Stay Tuned ! Can't wait for the red carpet and performances!! The VMA's air this Sunday, August 25th, 2013!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

2012 VMA Noms, Predictions and Commentary!

When these nominations were released, I was so bored by them I couldn't be bothered to even make a post making predictions. BUT Bambi and I were analyzing pop culture today and decided to dissect the nominees and I was able to queue up some interest.

Originally I was disintersted because almost all the power players in music are absent! It's been so female dominated for the past few years-powerhouses like Gaga, Britney, Nicki, Rihanna, Adele, etc, and even secondary position females like Katy Perry (in my mind she's not *really* a powerhouse) Ke$ha, etc... where the hell are they this year?? Even the powerhouse men- although Kanye and Jay and Drake do have some nominations, I feel like Jay and Kanye's year was last year (They performed Otis); They can't really be riding the same album 2 years in a row, right? Hm. No Lil Wayne really either.

Granted, Riri and Drake have the most nominations, so there's that, but it still feels like this lineup and nominations leave something to be desired..

So without further ado, here are the nominees, and my predictions and musings about them.

Best Male Video

Justin Bieber, “Boyfriend"
Frank Ocean, “Swim Good”
Drake feat. Rihanna, “Take Care”
Chris Brown, “Turn Up the Music”
Usher, “Climax”

     I'm not the biggest Justin Bieber fan; I've always felt I was too old to get into it but upon watching the Boyfriend video.. I'm sold. He was giving some sexy looks into the camera. I dig it.

    Swim Good is just an amazing song and video. I watch it with my eyes squinted like I'm an intellectual trying to get into the feelings it's supposed to evoke or interpret the deeper meaning. It's such a stark contrast to the feeling you get when you watch a Chris Brown video where you're energized and just want to dance. Swim Good makes you insightful and try to appreciate the emotion Frank Ocean is putting out there with it. When I watch this video, I get a feeling, I can't really articulate exactly what it is, but I'm quiet, trying to figure it out. I kind of love how that video makes me feel and think.

    Take Care is another one of those videos that isn't about the pumped up party-time energy or ooh-ing and ahh-ing over choreography. It's beauty is in its restraint. When I first saw it, I was like ugh, another weird-ass Drake video. But the more I watch it, the more it makes perfect sense to match the song. It's a melancholy song, about a lover who isn't ready or able to be loved and is damaged. And Rihanna could not be more perfect to guest on the song. Obviously they've worked together before and have some past love connection, and fucking obviously, she's damaged. Not to say Drake isn't either. Not to say we all aren't damaged in some way! But you know. The somber looks RiRi gives in this video say it all. Someone wants to be loved and to love but can't and the sorrow that comes with that lonliness! The artsy-ness of the video just makes sense. All this cutting to birds, mountains, a buffalo.. random but it makes sence. All the slow-mo, like you're in a dream, no control.. it's just perfect to match the tone of the song. The video conveys everything the songs does. And I think it's great.

     Turn Up the Music IS that video that makes to want to dance and makes you think of that best night you had dancing, or that best night that you aspire to have. As much as I can't get past Chris's domestic violence past, and condemn him and wish that his career never recovered.. I. cannot. stop. myself. fromlikingthisvideo!! It's amazing in every way. I feel like it reflects our time somehow..The energy of it is just..so.. now. Again I can't articulate how it does this any more than say, a Party Rock video or the  HYFR video (that's a whole other story..) I just feel like this video resonates with this current generation of people who do enjoy that kind of lifestyle. Is it the techono-add-in noises that are so trendy right now? I don't know. I guess not, becuase there's obviously a thousand other songs that have that but don't have that same.. feeling that this video gives. And his choreography is probably the best of any other male artist right now. AND he carries the video. Everything you're amazed and enchanted by in this video, is all him. Yes, he has backup dancers but your eyes are never off Chris. And towards the end he starts giving these really fierce looks like he's a crazed dancing MACHINE. That kind of aggeression should, in theory, put me off because of his past but I can't resist it and I'm under a spell by it. If Bey is Sasha Fierce, Chris is whatever male fierce counterpart there is to her in this video. I can't deny.

Climax? Not wasting my time on that stupid shit.

Who SHOULD win: Take Care or Turn Up the Music. And they are total opposites. Again, Take Care is great because its restraint and subtlety, but the VMA's are typically more about the dance/fierce/party-time, feel-good stuff.
Who WILL win: Turn up the Music, but I guess I wouldn't be surprised if Boyfriend won. I would be disappointed however.

Best Female Video

Rihanna, “We Found Love”
Katy Perry, “Part of Me”
BeyoncĂ©, “Love on Top”
Nicki Minaj, “Starships”
Selena Gomez & The Scene, “Love You Like a Love Song”

     I have a love/hate relationship Rihanna (mostly hate) but I haven't been shy about proclaiming my belief that We Found Love was, in my opinion, the best song of 2011, and the best video. By far. I love how the song was released and we all thought it was such a cheerful, triumphant song about love. We found love in a hopeless place! But the video came out and it was actually real. Yes, it shows the happy, ecstatic side of love with an obvious drug parallel, but then also the dark side. Yes it's happy and euphoric but what happens when it goes bad, you overdose, or get withdrawls?? BAD TIMES! She's a wreck in the video and I love that. And it does restore my faith in her a little by showing she's actually self-aware of her unhealthy relationship with Chris Brown. She's very honest and raw in this video. She lets it all hang out and it's just real and I do appreciate that. At least she knows how fucked up that whole thing is and isn't trying to hide that. Props.

    Part of Me- Random as hell, Adam wondered if the Marine's paid her for it! But you know I do love a good strong-woman theme.

     Love on Top- Yes it's low budge but how can you not love Beyonce seeing this video? My fave is the first set-up with the daylight and her just in her leotard and big hat. She is so bouncy and bright and shining and glowing. She just looks like she's radiating warmth and love! But still with swag. But Friendly-girl swag. Love it. It's very early 90's to me. Almost like an early Mimi song.

     Starships..ah what can I say here.. I love Nicki, and I love how she *really* came out with her body in this one.. Nothing was hidden! Shy of any legit nudity, we really got to see errythang she's working with under there. and it's a lot. and I love it. But a music video masterpiece, Starships is not.

     Love you Like a Love Song.. that's childsplay, what is it doing in this category? Best pop category MAYBE.

Who SHOULD win: We Found Love
Who WILL win: We Found Love

Best Pop Video

One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful”
Fun. feat. Janelle Monae, “We Are Young”
Rihanna, “We Found Love”
Justin Bieber, “Boyfriend”
Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa, “Payphone”

   I've already analyzed We Found Love and Boyfriend I'm not going to bother with any of the other videos. Waste of time.

Who SHOULD win: We Found Love
Who WILL win: We Found Love, or Boyfriend. Never underestimate the Biebs.

Best Rock Video

Coldplay, “Paradise”
The Black Keys, “Lonely Boy”
Linkin Park, “BURN IT DOWN”
Jack White, “Sixteen Saltines”
Imagine Dragons, “It’s Time”

The only thing I know about this category is that the Black Keys video is just a black guy dancing Carlton-style to the song the whole time. One shot. How in the fuck is that qualified as the best rock video of the year. Honestly.

Best New Artist

Fun. feat. Janelle Monae, “We Are Young”
Carly Rae Jepsen, “Call Me Maybe”
Frank Ocean, “Swim Good”
One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful”
The Wanted, “Glad You Came”

Best New Category has been fucked since someone named Esperanza Spalding won that award at the 2011 Grammys. And yes I am still bitching about it. Glad they nominated Frank Ocean, but Where the hell is Azaelia Banks? Iggy Azalea?  LANA DEL REY ???? Absolutely ridiculous.

Who SHOULD win: Frank Ocean

Who WILL win: No hope for MTV's dignity

  Best Hip-Hop Video

Childish Gambino, “Heartbeat”
Drake feat. Lil Wayne, “HYFR”
Kanye West feat. Pusha T, Big Sean & 2 Chainz, “Mercy”
The Throne, “Paris”
Nicki Minaj feat. 2 Chainz, “Beez in the Trap”

      Heartbeat is interesting, with the dysfunctional relationship, and metaphorical shift between who's in the drivers seat, interspersed with (brief) passionate lust. So I get it and appreciate it, but I'm not blown away by it.

      HYFR is a random mess of a Drake video. WHY was this nominated, rather than The Motto?? Really? I know it's supposed to be the video, and not the song's popularity but come on. This video is a Jewish clusterfuck mess. The only intersting thing about it is the Jewish theme.. it still has the necessary (?) imagery of people partying and dancing, slow-mo, focusing in on curvy ladies in dresses.. but instead of being at a crackin club, it's a a bar mitzvah. Interesting, but not interesting enough to override the corniness of the whole concept.

     Mercy was at first boring to me and it kind of still is. The only redeeming qualities about it are the sick fashion and the fact that these guys are jumping out of thin air, doubling, and tripling themselves and then disappearing. It's hard to keep who's who straight. It's alright but I don't think the video matches the power and swag of the song.

     Paris is a cool video- doctored concert footage that does a really great job of capturing the energy of the live show. It's real footage and sound too, not the official CD version of the song but one that was really performed live. Although, I do suspect some of the shots of the gorgeous women dancing in the audience were probably shot at a sound studio in Studio City. Great energy and it captures the swag of the two rap powerhouses together. Great video, and it evokes energy like the Turn Up the Music video does, but who put more work in and which is a greater video? Whereas Chris Brown and the director/producers/choreographers/dancers, etc etc put in WORK to create their video, Jay and Kanye basically just put already existing footage together to create theirs. Again, great video and it pumps you up but not nearly as much effort went into this one as the other nominees, IMO.

     Beez in the Trap!!! Nicki is such a bad bitch in this vid, I love it. Yeah it is kind of one-note but male rappers get away with that all the time. Does a rap video really *need* to tell a story and evoke emotions? Nicki is just fierce drippin swag in the video and I freaking love it. I love the women she featured in it too. These are not exotic models from LA or Miami, these are some other ghetto ass bad bitches you'd find in some shady ass strip club in Atlanta. The ones sitting beside her aren't glam, they look tough. One looks like Tiny, T.I.'s wife! And those donkey bootys...! Male rappers feature that shit, with the girls bouncing their asses too, but Nicki features them, and she's right up there alongside them! I love it. And again, I know it's about the video, and not the song, but this song gets played in legit hip hop clubs and people love it, the men and women. She's holding her own out there. I feel like it would be ground breaking if the lone female won the best Hip Hop category. Has that ever happened before? I'm rooting for her.

Who SHOULD win: Beez!!
Who WILL win: Mercy or Beez

Best Electronic Dance Music Video

Duck Sauce, “Big Bad Wolf”
Calvin Harris, “Feel So Close”
Skrillex, “First of the Year (Equinox)”
Martin Solveig, “The Night Out”
Avicii, “Le7els”

       Feels so Close is boring, and that makes it my favorite because the rest I saw of these are just fucked up. Bulging boner-faces in Big Bad Wolf and some gross child-predator chasing a little girl in First of the Year. At that point I'd seen enough.

Best Video With a Message

Demi Lovato, “Skyscraper”
Rise Against, “Ballad of Hollis Brown”
Kelly Clarkson, “Dark Side”
Gym Class Heroes, “The Fighter”
K’Naan feat. Nelly Furtado, “Is Anybody Out There?”
Lil Wayne, “How to Love”

     This is a new category that was only created last year for the sole purpose of awarding it to Lady Gaga for the Born This Way video and now that they've done that they should just do away with it. How to Love is nominee with a message? Jokingly contradictory to some of this other choice lyrics about women. Get real.

And the Biggest of the night!..

Video of the Year..!!

Katy Perry, “Wide Awake”
Gotye, “Somebody That I Used To Know”
Rihanna, “We Found Love”
Drake feat. Rihanna, “Take Care”
M.I.A., “Bad Girls”

     Wide Awake is just all over the place. Doing way too much in some Snow White/Alice in Wonderland themed shit. This video is just way too much.

       Somebody That I Used to Know.. I really do like this video. The song got so big this year and I think the accompanying video is going to go down as iconic. The images and closeups and nakedness.. it's just going to be one of those that you'll always remember because it's different. And I feel Gotye's distressed wails and his grimaces convey the pain of the song. And the nakedness. You know what I mean. It matches up and it's "artistic" and different and I like that.

       Bad Girls is the same thing for the whole video, I kept waiting for it to change scenes or show some different action other than a female driving a car in Sri Lanka. Besides going up on two wheels, nothing else happened and that was the entirety of the video. I don't know why people were shitting themselves over this song or video. I just don't get it. It's so weak and I feel MIA could have gone so much harder in a song called Bad Girls. Disappointing.

Who SHOULD win: We Found Love, or Gotye

Who WILL win: We Found Love or Gotye.

Sidenotes: Not too psyched about the performers they've announced.. Pink, Green Day, Alicia Keys (next year we can maybe look forward to her signing about her divorce after Swizz cheats on her ass). Although, Pink always surprises me with a really good performance. Last time Pink was at the VMA's she was doing acrobatics, flying around above the audience singing and getting drenched with water and it was kind of magical. She always turns it out. But GREEN DAY?? You're too old for the VMAs at this point. As Bambi said, "Go home to your families!".

  I am very excited to see my favorite famewhore couple KIMYE walk the red carpet and hopefully present an award and lots of priceless gifs of shots cutting to them in the audience fame-whoring it up.

And lastly I am very interested in seeing how Drake and Chris Brown are going to stay away from eachother while in the midst of their beef, and the lawsuit from that club their crews wrecked up. With Riri in the middle of it all! Riri and Drake have the most noms out of everyone and they are nominated quite a bit for their collaboration so I can see how they might be sitting together.. But at the same time she just gave that interview telling Oprah she and Chris still love eachother, even though they aren't together. Oh, the drama! Maybe there will be a fight? We need something to shake this ceremony up. I'm still hopeful that someday, something will happen to top the Kanye mic-snatching moment and live on forever in infamy (My favorite pop culture moment of all time).

Stay tuned!!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

It begins!

See what did I tell you. We are already being bestowed with great gifts from Kimye. Just look at this gem of a picture. Photobucket

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


Photobucket Omg I am so in awe of Kimye!! This is the power celebrity-pairing of a lifetime! It all started when Kanye released a song in which he admitted to being in love with Kim; He wasn't revealing they were a couple- just acknowledging his feelings towards her- who knew if they were reciprocated. Of course, when asked, Kim answered coyly, without flat out denying anything but mostly just suggesting they are friends but with the "who knows what the future holds" thing. But! Last night they came out as a couple with some PDA- holding hands at the grand opening of Scott Disick's NYC restaurant! AND Kanye joined the whole fam for a photo op while lounging around!! AND earlier this week, Kim was sporting KW studs in her ears. Basically it's on. (!) Photobucket Photobucket I am so in awe..I got chills when I logged on to Dlisted.com this morning and saw that pic of them holding hands! This is a new dawn. Never before has the world seen a matching of the celebirty egos so epic. The celeb Gods must be smiling down upon us because this is truly a gift. HOW could a match be any more perfect?? I'm not saying they are going to last, but it just makes perfect sense. They are equally matched! Kim's past few relationships have ended with her boyfriends (or husband) not being able to deal with or keep up (pun?)with her lavish lifestlye. The fame, the paparazzi, the jet-setting, the ego, the over-the-top garishness, the larger than life public persona, the shameless self-obsession.. it's all been too much! Until now! Kim has finally gotten with the one guy who is all about the same shit she is! She has finally met her match!!! I know I don't post regularly these days but I just had to throw this one out to express my enchantment! Can't wait to see how it plays out.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

2012 Oscars

So boring. I was not about to waste my time watching that so instead I watched my lover Blake Griffin dunk on erryone at the AllStar Game.

But, here are my picks for best dressed !

4. Glenn Close-


Sexy strapless dress with a chic blazer over top to make it age appropriate.

3. Gwyneth Paltrow-


Love the unexpected cape-like shoulder cover!

2. Jennifer Lopez-


This women loves her white on the red carpet. There was her gorgeous white flowing gown from the Oscars a few years back and then the little slinky white dress with the capelet. This is shimmery white hot goddess. Love the open sleeve, deep back and deep front!

1. Angelina Jolie


Damn! She actually looks like she's having fun!! Work that slit Angie!

Monday, February 13, 2012

The 2012 Grammys!


I'll be damned. Who knew this would be the year the Grammys would regain their dignity after such acts of fuckery as 2011's awarding best new artist to someone named Esperanza Spalding.

It was so good last night; Everything was just. Everything was right. As I scroll down the winners list every single one I say aloud, "YES.... YES.... YES... YES"

The show started with LL Cool J leading a prayer for Whitney Houston.. which I found kind of weird and borderline inappropriate.. to assume everyone in the house is Christian, to give a Christian prayer. Whatever.

This followed with a performance by Bruno Mars, who is apparently the go-to performer for deceased musicians-tributes. He did the same for Wino at the VMAs. It was almost the exact same performance. Him at a mic with a couple backups behind him, all dressed in their little colorful tuxedo jackets and matching high-water pants, singing a tribute, with a bunch of fancy footwork dancing. I liked it though, just oddly similar to what he did 6 months ago for Amy.


Next Alicia Keys and Bonnie Rait perform a tribute to Etta James, singing "Sunday Kind of Love". And for once I actually approve of the way Alicia is dressed.


Best Pop Solo Performance is given to Adele for "Someone Like You". Such a good song; I prefer it to Rolling in the Deep. Well-deserved.

Chris Brown performs. Started out singing another song, but then went into Beautiful People. He was much criticized for lip synching, but for some reason I didn't really have a problem with it. I liked the dancing. He was hopping aroung a pyramid of light-up blocks.. kind of reminds me of that old show GUTS on Nickelodian...


It was overall kind of weird for me to think that, exactly three years ago, Chris and RiRI were notably absent from the Grammys because he beat her the night before..a PR and image nightmare for Chris Brown- people wondered if his career could ever recover, and now here we are and he's performing from the same ceremony he was absent from. And Rihanna is there too... It's just weird to me. Did they see eachother? Is she really secretly hooking up with him again? Crazy how time really heals everything. Or seems to..

Best Rap Performance award is given to.. OTIS !! Yes!!! It beat Black and Yellow, Moment 4 Life, The Show Goes On and Look at me Now. Great nominees, but so glad Otis won. Well deserved!! Unfortunately, Jay and Ye weren't there to accept! WTF is up with that! Kanye lead the pack with the most nominations out of everyone! And he couldn't even make an appearance? Jay gets a pass because he is tending to the needs of the new Messiah, Baby Blue.

Performance by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson. Nothing really to say about that.

Performance by the Foo Fighters. Who doesn't like the Foo Fighters? Honestly, there's nothing un-likable about them. They make good music thats "rock" but is still so .. approachable? I'm not a huge rock girl but I can still appreciate their music. Their lyrics are so honest and relatable. And they all seem super nice. In both a genuine and self-depricating-humor sort of way. They've been around for years, have major rock cred/talent but they're still not above hitting the red carpet beforehand and doing interviews with Ryan Seacrest. They don't think they're too good for that, like Radiohead. Love.

Then RiRi performs We Found Love! Girl has lost weight! She used to be kinda thick.. She's still toned, but looks noticably thinner. Still bangin though. Great performance. Then she segued into Paradise with Coldplay. Great performance!!!



Best Rock Performance awarded to the Foo Fighters, "Walk". Yay. Grohl mentions that they went back to their roots and instead of recording that song in the best Hollywood studios, they recorded it in his garage. How can you not love them????


Beach Boys performance? wtf.

Stevie Wonder presents Sir Paul McCartney and he performed something (Sorry, that was my break to go make my mac and cheese).

Best R&B album goes to.. F.A.M.E. by Chris Brown. Even though I have mixed feelings about him being there and performing on the anniversary that he beat RiRi.. I have to say this was deserved.

Taylor Swift performs "Mean". Ok so I guess it was a good performance but this girl is 21 years old. Why is she still singing songs that seem to be based off a girl's third grade life experience? "You're Mean!!!" ?? Seriously? It was pointed out to me that Taylor Swift and Adele are only 18 months apart, yet Adele comes across decades more mature. Taylor needs to grow up.

Song of the Year awarded to: Adele! Rolling in the Deep. Well deserved!!!! I could honestly say that for every single award so I guess I'll just stop repeating myself.

Katy Perry performs ET, then goes into some other love-scorned song with a "keep your diamond ring" lyric. hmm. And to think last year she performed some stupid Valentine's Day song dedicated to Russel. And now she's divorced (laughing on the inside).

Best Country Album- Lady Antewhofuckingcares.

And then, the much-anticipated Adele performance. She sings Rolling in the Deep and makes everyone forget we've been beat over the head with this song for the past year. So good. It was so refreshing, to go back to basics, just Adele in her black dress, singing with a small band and some backup singers. No dancing, no lasers, no costumes. And she still had everyone captivated. Amazing.


Blake Shelton performance.

Best New Artist awarded to: Bon Iver. Honestly, I'm not even going to complain. I was entertained by the fact that he got up there and kept telling us how umcomfortable he was being up there, getting recognition on this kind of platform.. LOL you just have to say that cuz you're a fucking indie! haha oh well this win still gets my stamp of approval.

Then, the tribute to all those in music that we've lost in the past year.. Etta James, Amy Winehouse, Clarence Clemmons, Whitney. Whitney was the last one shown and the screen paused with her image up there, and out emerged Jennifer Hudson for her tribute song.


I knew it was coming but I didn't know what she was going to sing. It was all dark with just a single spotlight on her. The anticipation was building and then you heard the first note and it sent shivers up everyone's spine!! That immediately recognizable "Iiiif". I Will Always Love You. From that first note I immeadiately started tearing up and was soon full-on crying! I was shocked, as I was never a huge Whitney girl and you KNOW I'm not the biggest J.Hud fan. But it was just one of those moments. She did the song SO well, and it just brought everyone back to remember Whitney at her best, what an amazing talent she was. It was such a beautiful moment. The night belonged to Adele but for me, this was the moment of the night. Way to go, J.Hud. She looked amazing too.

Next was a performance from Guetta, Breezy, Weezy and DeadMaus or D3adMau5 or however the fuck you spell it.

Last performance of the night is Nicki. Oh Lord. I wasn't sure if she was gonna perform Stupid Hoe or what. She ended up pullin a Lady Gaga and doing some bizarre story-telling performance of the Exorcism of Roman. It was pretty out there.



BTW Nicki was my favorite on the red carpet, dressed in her Versace red riding hood dress! Love the more natural makeup look.


Record of the Year goes to: Adele, Rolling in the Deep. Yay.

And Finally, Album of the year- goes to.. 21, by Adele! And she gets up there and gives the best acceptance speech, emotion, humor, genuine appreciation and a little anecdote. She thanked someone (her producer?) for teaching her about quality control in her music. What fucking concept. Artists these days have a few hit singles in their albums and then a bunch of shitty filler. Learn some QUALITY CONTROL !


What a fucking triumph. All winners were just and right and correct.

The performances were good.

The Grammys struck the perfect balance at paying respect and tribute to Whitney without being a complete downer. It made everyone reflect on what a legend she truly was. J.Hud came through in the clutch, less than 24 hours notice to pull together the performance of the night that had everyone in tears.

And Adele came back from throat surgery to perform the song of the year and blow everyone away without any smoke and mirrors. Just sheer talent and emotion. She deserved every single award she won.


A triumph!!!!

(Curtains close)